It's a zoo.

Lucy is currently obsessed with this book about penguins. The Mommy goes away fishing and the little baby penguin is hunkered down with Daddy until Mommy returns, safe and sound. This is the book that we read, oh, about a hundred times a day when she and I were sick. Why? Is she missing me a lot for some reason? Is she bonding in a new way with her Daddy? Not sure what the deep significance is for her, and frankly it's written so poorly that I wince every time she pulls it off the shelf and asks, "read me this booky"--but I digress.

Anyway. She is obsessed with penguins. Several times in recent weeks, she has asked if we can go and look at penguins at the zoo. "Do you think the mommies will be there too?" She has been dying to see a penguin in real life. So, we trekked off to the free zoo on the Other Side of the River and spent a little time watching the penguins. Their "habitat" paled in comparison to what she was expecting, I think. No deep ocean blue, no sea lions and killer whales frolicking in the surf among the penguins. Just a few thin, rather low-energy penguins hangin' out on a fake iceberg. But she loved it. She asked me which ones were the mommies, and where the babies were. I told her (honestly) that I didn't know, and we looked for a zookeeper, but found no one to ask. She wanted to watch them swim, but they weren't getting off their rock for anything. So we watched them and watched them and she quoted lines from her favorite book, "we huddle together in the inner circle....you close your eyes to the blinding sleet, while here I sit, balancing on your feet." She loved it. I had to suppress the urge to run.

Before I had kids, I swore I'd never take my children to the zoo. I've always had rather mixed feelings about zoos in general. Yes yes, I know, there are some zoos that are doing a lot for wild habitat preservation, and the importance of captive breeding programs for endangered species (which often take place in, and are funded by zoos) can not be understated. But still. They bother me. No matter how hard zoos try to fake it, or make it appear otherwise, zoo animals are still captive animals in cages. Taken out of the wild (in most cases) and put in a box far, far from home. They are still basically prisoners, put on display for our amusement. Something about it feels inhumane. Then there's the secondary issue of the people that I've encountered at zoos. Laughing, jeering, taunting the animals. Throwing trash. I've seen dads growling at lions through the glass, kids calling monkeys obscene names, and all manner of pointing, laughing and cajoling to try to get a reaction out of the animals. It's awful. It never fails to make me want to grab these imbeciles and shake them, screaming, what is wrong with you?! How could people treat animals like this? And what kind of example are you setting for your children? Can't we try to be a little more respectful?

On the other hand. When I was a child, my parents took me to zoos and aquariums often. I loved going. I loved animals. I wrote letters to the dolphin trainers at Sea World. My "behind the scenes at the zoo" birthday party is one of my absolute best memories. I knew so much about so many animals, I was a walking "Wildlife Treasury" Set. For the longest time, I wanted to be a vet when I grew up. Then a marine biologist. I wound up a naturalist, spending my days educating others about habitat preservation and wildlife conservation. I am sure this is in no small part due to my frequent, positive exposure to animals, lots of animals, when I was young. My parents, both thoughtful, compassionate people, both love animals, always have. I don't remember either of them being the dark cloud of negativity that I can be, muttering under my breath about how it sucks to be that there zebra, being the only zebra in the whole zoo. Pretty sorry lot for a herd animal. So I'm not the most fun person to bring to the zoo. Dominic is a saint, as usual, and doesn't push me in to the seal pool or anything, despite my dour attitude.

But my kids? They love the zoo. They love to see animals up close. Lucy shuddered the first time she actually heard a lion roar. Julian nearly wiggled out of his skin when the sea lion slooshed around in its tank, right in front of us.

I'm working on lightening up a little bit. (and don't think the irony there is lost on me!)