The effort of wanting

Lots of friends have been asking about the Compact lately, how it's going "not buying anything"--and so far, really, it's going pretty well. Surprisingly well, actually. most of the time I don't miss shopping. Of course, I've had my moments, like that trip to Target I wrote about, or the burning desire for a new washing machine. But overall, this is actually really fun.

D and I were just reflecting on it just the other day. Rather than make us feel deprived or bringing to light all the things we "just can't live without," doing the Compact has mostly made us aware of what we have already. And what we have is enough. There is yet to be a moment where we feel anything is really lacking in our lives. Honestly, there just isn't much we need. We're so fortunate to have a great house we love, a wonderful car that works well, insurance, and pretty much all the possessions a normal family could want or need.

So, is there stuff we want? Sure, of course there's stuff we want, but since we know we aren't going to buy that stuff, we're finding, it's just not worth the effort of wanting. Last week we took the kids to the Midtown Global Market (which is, oh, the coolest place ever) and as we were going in, I stopped to have a look at these gorgeous hand-panted tiles and bowls. They were beautiful. For a fleeting moment, I thought, "oh, I wish I could buy one of these!" but then, very quickly I felt something like relief. Nope- no tiles, no bowls, no need to decide which one to buy, no need to take one home, no need to figure out where to put it or clean it or worry about breaking it. I just had this moment where I stood there, feeling this freedom from attachment to it, I'm not sure how else to describe it. It felt good.

I spent another few seconds admiring the stuff and then moved on to catch up with my family, who were already ahead of me, enjoying the music, the people, and the atmosphere.