Took a hellish trip to target today to stock up on things that we decided we needed to have on hand this coming year: a few onesies for Julian, some bottles, sippy cups, etc..also needed a few necessities such as diapers, wipes, and the like. I sortof felt like I was preparing to go on a trip. The items on our "must buy before the end of the year list' are things that at this point in time I consider it a pain to have to find second hand. So are we "cheating" to buy it now? I don't know. But I never see onesies in the second hand clothes store, and bottles, sippy cups, etc....I'd have to hit many a garage sale to find them, I think. I want to make this easy. I think, for example, when J starts using a sippy cup, if I have to run out to find a garage sale that happens to have sippy cups, this whole process might be more difficult than it needs to be...So If we are cheating, so be it.
So, we still have a few things that we've decided we "need" to get before the end of the year, and I 'am trying not to judge myself too harshly because as soon as I finish this blog entry I am going online to purchase: boot trays, roman shades, cushions for our kitchen chairs, and an entry rug. For some reason, a part of me feels guilty and sort of hypocritical because we are buying these things before our year of "living without" or whatever you want to call it begins. Same deal with the sippy cups and bottles. Is this unabashed,"preparatory buying" is somehow demonstrative of a shortcoming or weakness on our part? A fear of failure? Simple greed, not wanting to do without, say, a rug for my entryway?
What's funny is the interesting thought process I have around stuff I never, literally never gave a second thought to before...case in point: This morning, as I was showering and the hot water did it's usual sudden slow trickle thingy, I thought, "My god....we better get us a new showerhead, and fast, time's running out..." And then I thought of this showerhead we have in the basement, which I bought on a whim months ago in the hopes it would influence L to like baths (long story)and which I had earlier tried to return to Target, which they wouldn't take back (another long story) and then I thought, well, if we need to, we could replace this showerhead with the one we have in the basement. And then a small voice in the back of my head cried, "but I don't like that showerhead!" And I seriously, for a moment, considered going out and buying another one. Just in case.
Yikes. Suddenly I am feeling deprived about really stupid things! I never cared at all about showerheads before today.
4 years ago