Another exception

This morning I had to take L in to the doctor's office for a shot. This was actually akin to torture. She was terrified and screaming, biting my shoulder, crying, it was just awful. This primal need that I have to protect my daughter from any pain or discomfort in this world? I bumped up against it big time today and it laughed in my face.

Anyway.

So, to soften the blow of this scary experience (for both of us) I told Lucy we would go to the toy store and pick something special out. (What? Where does this come from? Am I teaching her to assuage her pain and fear with material goods? Am I bribing her? Am I teaching her some terribly flawed lesson about "earning" toys based on her behavior?--I don't care what the hidden messages are today, people. I just wanted my baby to feel better!) I knew I was going to violate the Compact for this, and I figured, why not? She's gotta get a shot and this is going to suck. Take her to the toy store, get her a kitty, she'll feel better. To heck with the Compact. This is an acceptable exception.

Well, we got to the toy store and the thing she wanted most of all, more than anything else, was a little doll stroller. Mind you, she already has a doll stroller, which is about 2 years old. It is rickety and has been duct-taped together more than any other thing we own (except possibly for Julian's CD player, long story)--it still works but is really in rough shape. She found a pretty little number, purple with pink ballet slippers on it. She found a stuffed kitty to push around and generally had a blast at the toy store. (We probably could have left at that point, as the horror of the shot was all but forgotten by this point anyway.)

L: "I want this stroller."
me: "But you already have one of these honey, let's look for something else that might be fun for you to play with"
L: "But I want this stroller."
Me:"Look here honey, look at this high chair. Do you think your kitties might like to sit in this high chair and eat their kitty treats?"
L: "But you said I could get anything."
Me: "Yes but you already have a stroller, let's find something that you don't have. Look at this pretty high chair."

We left the store with a frigging doll high chair. My chirpy sales pitch worked. She got a little excited about the high chair and I swooped on that enthusiasm to get her the toy I thought would be the best choice. But she had picked out the toy she wanted the most, just like I promised her she could, and what did I do? I ignored her choice. I didn't want to get something we already had. I am curious how long the current stroller will last. I figure it still works OK, so why get a new one? Why not get something she doesn't have?

I was kicking myself the whole entire way home from the store. Why am I such a jerk? Why couldn't I just get her the thing that she really wanted? Why did I talk her out of it, and basically make myself a liar by not letting her get "anything" she wanted? The rare occasion we violate the terms of the Compact for a toy, and she doesn't even really get the one she wants.

Not only that, but the doll high chair sucks. It is stupid. We got home, got it out of the box, and it is way too short, so she has to kneel down to use it, plus, her kitties are too big to sit in it properly, and the tray doesn't come off. It's too hard for her to use the way she wants to. So I feel even worse about the whole damn day.

Yes, I realize I am most definitely overthinking this one, but I feel rotten. I feel like an awful wretch of a mother.

The Mother of all Garage Sales.

We are finally having a garage sale! We were originally just planning to "bring a few things over" to my dad's garage sale last weekend, but then Julian got sick (just a cold, but he had a high fever and a rash for a few days) and Dom decided to paint the outside of the house, where the addition was put on last year. (a busy weekend) so, true to form, we left that small pile of "a few things" to rot in our basement.

Coincidentally, this weekend, my neighborhood association (of which I am a proud board member, I might add) is hosting a neighborhood-wide Sale-o-Rama, so Dom and I sprung into action this week, rummaged through the closets, the boxes, the piles of clutter everywhere, and came up with a pretty sizeable pile of stuff to sell. We don't intend to get rich (unless someone does in fact buy the violin, the bed, the mountain bike, and the kayak)-but what a fun way to meet the neighbors, chat with folks, and enjoy a summer Saturday in Minnesota. Plus, maybe we can get rid of some of this STUFF that's been plaguing us. By noon I'll be giving stuff away, I am sure. I just want it out of here.

I can't believe Dom agreed to do it--he hates garage sales. When we're in the car and we drive past one, or better yet, a flea market, I have to beg and plead to get him to stop. On the rare occasion that he actually does stop, he grumbles so much about it that it's really not even that fun. (Sorry, Dom, but you know it's true!) He sees no point in "paying money for stuff other people are throwing away" and wasting time wandering around looking at crap....I call it browsing around in search of random goodies and treasures unknown! And I thoroughly enjoy it!

So, if you're in the area this Saturday, mosey on over. You can indulge your secret desire to become a violin player,or a collector of random pieces of childrens play equipment.

fashionally challenged

Here's what a total dork I am. Last week, when it seemed spring had finally arrived (oh, blessed spring! How I have missed you!) and I had the luxury of a kidless couple of hours, I went to run some errands. My wardrobe is pitiful. It's not as if the errands were anything exciting, say, a Kentucky Derby party or a lunch meeting with Obama....just a trip to the grocery store and the car wash. (exciting life I lead, no?)

Granted, most of my "spring wardrobe" has been boxed up and sitting in the crawlspace for the better part of three years (in the past three spring/summer seasons I was pregnant/postpartum or too busy chasing a one-year old and too freaked out about everything to care what I was wearing...and then pregnant/postpartum again)

So I found myself sauntering through the parking lot on the most beautiful spring day...blue sky, puffy white clouds, sunshine so bright you could smell it (well, I could anyway) and leaves practically exploding from the branches. I was a stunning vision of...brown. And not the brown that is the new black either. I'm talking about faded brown cords, and a long-sleeved brown maternity shirt that still passes as a loose fitting shirt. Yeah. I was lookin' good, people.



So began my quest for decent, well fitting clothes. For me. I've had some minimal issues with finding kids clothes (see this post) but nothing I can't deal with, given enough time and laundry detergent. It was time to exhume my spring wardrobe from the bowels of my house. A few hours after my lovelies were asleep, I found myself knee-deep in clothes I have had for years, some old favorites, and many, many "what was I thinking?" pieces. So I did a ton of laundry that night and realized that I am in deep doo-doo.



My cute summer shorts, which fit me great four years ago, don't particularly, shall we say, get along with my two time-post-postpartum body. My cute summer shirts, which used to fit, now aren't particularly thrilled to stretch across my rather-ahem-ample baby-feeding system.

So, at the very next kid-free opportunity, I hit the consignment stores hard. Three hours later I had a somewhat sizeable collection of passable clothes. I am not going to stop any cars with my incredible fashion sense, but at least I'm not wearing corduroy anymore!

Of course, the grand irony here is that it's back down to 50 degrees and rain. So I believe the fashion editors of the world might forgive my corduroy, should it emerge from my closet again...

Our First Cheat

So, I went out and bought something recently without a second thought. I fell off the wagon of non-consumerism. And I have no regrets at all. None. What was the ultra-tempting item that got me to turn away from my values, to ignore this challenge we've taken on, to shun our quest for simplicity? A new car? Some great clothes?

Light-blocking fabric.

Those of you who have seen me recently probably don't have to try very hard to recall my pitted eyes, sallow complexion and complete lack of energy these past few months. What many of you know is that our dear baby boy was trying for the world record of sleepless days and nights. He was making a pretty good run of it, too. 9 months without a nap. (no, I'm not exaggerating) No single stretch of sleep at night lasting more than three hours. Nine months of this was really taking its toll on me. I was physically and mentally exhausted, completely drained, and, frankly, starting to lose my grip. I was short on patience (aka an UberHag of a mother and wife), I was short on ideas. We have tried everything to get this kid to sleep. And I do mean, everything. Health experts from every end of the spectrum weighed in on his difficulty. Friends were generous with advice and suggestions. I have sung every lullaby ever written to this child.

Finally, a friend (bless you S) menti0ned how well her son started to sleep after she taped black poster board up on the windows, to block out the light. Why didn't I think of this before? I raced to the fabric store the next morning, wondering how on earth I could have overlooked this one. But of course. He has wood shades, but they aren't great at blocking the light.

I spent twenty minutes velcroing the fabric up in J's room, and that afternoon, miracle of miracles, he took a nap. And not just any nap, friends, he took a three hour nap. Since then, he has napped every day, for about an hour and a half. And the nights? His current average is to wake up two or three times. This is down from the 5 to 10 times per night I was getting up with him before.

To say I am restored is an understatement.

So, yeah, we broke the terms of the Compact this time. But like I said, it is so worth it. No regrets here. I am re-joining the living, and it is good.

The Article.

Oh, yeah, I should probably post this link.

How hair extensions can save America

Yesterday, I was at the MOA (long story). On the way there, I heard GW on the radio talking up the rebate checks going out to Americans. He's hoping Americans will use the money to "boost the economy" and that it will "provide some relief at the gas pumps." (here's a link to an article about this speech) Ummmm, OK. Granted, we're in a recession. I'm no economist, but I couldn't help but wonder about this. As I wandered through the mall, assaulted by stimuli, surrounded by people toting huge shopping bags, I saw plenty of opportunities to "boost the economy." Cell phone covers! Clip-on hair extensions! Hermit crabs! But really now, is it my obligation as an American to spend money? Will that really be the best thing for the country, if we all go out and pour money into The Economy, by purchasing goods? I believe our President thinks it would be.

And then I got to thinking, what would it be like if, instead of just spending all this money falling from the sky, instead of just buying "stuff" because The Big Guy told us to, the good citizens invested it in things that might really improve the quality of life around here: livable wages, care for the elderly, better support for mothers and children, a decent health care system. What would happen to the economy? What would life be like then?

I just don't think "stuff" is the answer. What would it be like if everyone in this country had financial security? Is it even possible? What would that do to the economy?

Six secondhand scented spring shirts

I had two hours of kid-free time today. I spent one hour having a wonderful lunch and reading the paper (an indulgence I haven't enjoyed in I don't know how long). The next hour was spent poring over the racks at my local secondhand kids clothing store. The store was crammed full of stuff, but I managed to find very little in the way of clothes for my kids. I found a few things, but frankly, it's proving to be darn hard. What I need are pants, shirts, shorts. Just basic stuff. And I didn't find much. I'm really not picky when it comes to clothing for my kids. I want cute stuff, sure, and stuff they'll wear. But after an hour, I had only a couple shirts for Julian (who actually really needs pants more than anything) and a couple shirts for Lucy (ditto on the pants thing). So I am not sure how productive this outing actually was. 6 items of clothing will not get my children through the next season.

I'd find myself holding up an item now and then and thinking, "Hmm. well, this isn't all that cute, and I'm not sure what she can wear it with, but it is her size..." so I wound up buying several things that I don't think I really needed to buy. Or didn't even like. And of course, this particular store allows no returns. So when I got things home and realized the foolish choices I had made, arrgh. And the amount of time I spent shopping, compared with the result?? Phooey. This seems so inefficient. I would rather waste money than time. The opportunities I have to go out shopping sans kids are so rare, I hate to spend an entire hour and have so little to show for it.

And then there's the whole "bionic nose" thing. Have I mentioned this? I have a sense of smell that is, well, acute. I can practically tell you what brand of laundry soap the guy jogging past me on the sidewalk uses. I can smell the blueberry muffin being eaten by the person in the car next to me at a stoplight. With the windows closed. Secondhand stores present an entire landscape of smells for me to navigate through. It can be overwhelming at times. Today I left with a headache that is still hanging on, hours after I returned home. Obviously I will wash the clothes I bought, but I've found that when I buy secondhand clothes, I always have to wash them 4 or 5 times because I can smell the detergent/pets/residual perfume/etc the clothes have been in contact with.

Of course, I'll get better at this. I'll eventually find the right stores that I can tolerate shopping in, and I'll figure out how to better choose what to bring home. There must be an easier way. Maybe I am going to the wrong places? Anybody know of any good secondhand kids clothes stores?